• Musings

    Week 1 ~ Recap

    We have made it through the first week of the new year!  Yayyyy!

    I feel good having something to work on, although, it is a little overwhelming.  I keep reminding myself to do what I can do and that is GOOD enough.  The magic is in the little bit done everyday.  The rest will follow.  I cannot do everything all at one time.  My brain and body would love to disagree with that.

    Work is going okay.  I am not sure about the job, but I promised myself to stick it out a minimum of six months.  I hate doing things that I do not do well at and sales kind of jobs are really not my gig.  The thing is, I will never learn if I do not try and do.  Or as Yoda says, “No try, just do.”

    Right now, my focus is on the basics and that is okay.  I have my creative challenges in place and am looking forward to seeing where they go.  Week one is basically a set up week.  Honestly, the first three months of the year will be that for me, since I am a stubborn one.  Yes, the force is great within me and that is not always a good thing.

    At any rate, my quick recap against my goals is below.  I would love to give more details, but financially, I need to keep that part private, so for now I will compare against things or just confirm the practice.  I am pretty proud of those little bits.

    There will be one or two more entries this week.  I have to finish writing up my Thoughtfulness Project to share.  It needs a few tweaks.  I also have some writing to complete so I can introduce that creative process as well as getting me back into my arts. I am on my way for 2019, one baby step at a time.  I also have a few things to write about in dealing with depression.

    I hope you are making small gains or steps through your goals.

     

    Financially secure:

    • Retirement fund.  – I have a wee bit in here.  Not enough for a steak dinner, but there is something in there to start working for me.
    • Emergency fund. – A wee bit in here too, not enough to buy pizza for the family, but small consecutive actions build up.  Here we go.
    • Debt that sustained me – I haven’t started, but I did take a look.  It was scary.  I chose which debt to push funds to in order to knock it down.  I will add a lump payment at the end of each month.
    • Future projects – Right now we have to get the Emergency fund filled.  Once that is done, then this will be worked on.

    Independent:

    • Hydrate everyday – aka DRINK WATER; I did not do so well this week.  My job is not one where I can really drink water.  More like I have to guzzle on breaks and lunch.  So the plan is a full glass when I wake up; during my two breaks & lunch and 4 glasses after work.
    • Yoga everyday – This past week, I hit four days out of the seven.  Good job since I started from none.
    • Work out everyday – This past week, I hit three days out of seven.  Good job since I started from none.
    • Follow a liver friendly meal plan – I am working on it.  It seems everything I like has fat in it.  LOL!  Since it is so difficult, I am switching one meal a day for this coming week.
    • Meditation – I haven’t done this at all during the week.  ;/
    • Reading – Currently reading a great book about financial health.  On target here.  Boohyah!
    • Cleanliness – I am keeping up, but need to really follow that schedule.  That hard part – when I get home and don’t want to or wake up and don’t want to.
    • Art – practice and create everyday.
      • Blog – getting warmed up.
      • Listing the creations for sale. – Working on getting this done
      • Purposefully creating items to go into my portfolio that will build my case that I am an artist worthy of following, collecting and licensing.  Working on this.
    • Education – I am investigating options.

    Good:

    • Rounding out life into community
      • Identify my communities and participate in them gratefully as I am able to do so
        • Family – I have seen lots of family this past week.
        • Work – Still focused on learning the job.
        • Friends – Invited one over for Star Trek Discovery this past weekend.  whoo!
        • My neighborhood – Not there yet
        • My town – Not there yet
        • My state – Not there yet
        • Art – Not there yet
        • Hobbies – Not there yet
        • Charity – Not there yet
    • Give myself encouragement, praise and love.  – Trying…funny how this is harder than I thought.  O.o
    • Practice my 12 months of thoughtfulness (I will write more on this later). Have it planned out, time to write about it.
  • Musings

    Happy New Year ~ 2019 ~

    Happy New Year!

    May 2019 bring you pleasant adventures that lead to living a truly good life.  I hope this year is our (yours and mine) best year yet.

    Some may think that this post is another set of resolutions for the new year, but truly, it is simply a matter of timing.  2018 was an incredible year for me.  It was incredible in moments of pleasure and pain.  I experienced some of my happiest and darkest moments.  I do not view it as sad, but such a blessing because 2018 has forced me to relook at life and maybe for the first time to engage in an authentic honesty with myself.

    I fought the depression battle and while painful, depression also has a beautiful purpose if one allows it.  The pain I held inside was a lifetime pent up.  It held every regret in life, every dissatisfaction, every longing, every lost moment and opportunity.  This is the place where one feels not only worthless, but hopeless.  It is in this place we face the deepest hurts in our lives and make that choice.  You know the one.  It becomes a moment by moment choice.  Life turns basic because even the little things become so hard.

    It is in this place that new life has the opportunity to grow through making those moment by moment choices.  Think of it as similar to a place that was burnt to the ground in fire, but yet somehow, a seed germinates and it grows up through the ashes.  Those ashes, while the symbol of devastation also becomes the nutrients for that new life.  This is depression.  Once we have been torn down to what seems like despair and nothingness, there is room for new growth.  I know it sounds silly, but depression, like any emotion or state we feel or endure was never meant to be a final place.  Life is fluid, like water, always moving.

    Small choices build upon each other.  The choice to get off of the couch and stand outside for a few minutes each day was actually a launching ground. The sun hitting my skin, the breeze washing over me with a new breath and the sounds of life all around me.  No matter the season, the sensations touch deep inside.  This brought me to question my own reasoning.  I realized in one moment how amazing life is and my choice was made to live it.  I am fortunate.  Call it another opportunity or chance.  Every day brings it, but so does each moment we live.

    I wrote down all of my pain – all of the dissatisfaction, regrets, hurts and losses and burnt it away until they were just merely ashes crumbling in my fingers. I tossed them into a garden I ignored during 2018.  The ending of and the beginning of .

    I decided instead of riding the day to day cycle of life, I am going to use everything I have and am to bring about change.  Whatever I was dissatisfied with, it is analyzed without emotion so I can learn.  I researched and created my little plan of action.  Funny how it fell in line with a new year.

    So for 2019, I am declaring it the beginning of my restoration and rejuvenation.  It is one step at a time, but I have goals to achieve and life now has purpose.  I want to live a good, independent and financially secure life and I want to inspire others to do this as well.  It is not about having the biggest car or best whatnot or the most money.  It is a life of excellence, quality and stability.  It is a life flexible enough to endure the storms, strong enough to keep things stable and allow the pleasures of life in everyday.  It is, honestly, love.

    I am starting small.  I am walking to a good, independent and financially secure life.

    Financially secure:

    • I started a new job after being unemployed & bouncing like a seed in the wind. (Kids, seriously, go to college. The reason it was hard to find a job was the lack of the college degree, not the lack of skills)
      • I am rebuilding my retirement fund.
      • I am rebuilding my emergency fund.
      • I am paying down the debt that sustained me ( borrowed time – we have to give it back with interest)
      • I am saving for future projects (such as owning an apartment building, rebuilding my deck & home repairs).

    Independent:

    • The financially secure work listed above.
    • I still own my home thankfully, but my health has taken a downward spiral
      • Hydrate everyday – aka DRINK WATER
      • Yoga everyday – Appreciate life, thankfulness, strength in the body & mind, flexibility
      • Work out everyday – This is the high impact, things like running, aerobics, strength training work for the body to build it back up
      • Follow a liver friendly meal plan, which is pretty much vegies, fruits, no meats or dairy and limited fats.  Even healthy fats need to be watched (can’t eat avocados 24/7 yanno)
      • Meditation – the inward practice of gratefulness, thankfulness and appreciation, while visualizing my dream life.
      • Reading – Inspirational reading everyday. My goal here is a book or so each month.  It is not just to read but to take from those readings knowledge and apply to create wisdom in my daily life.
      • Cleanliness – reset and follow my house cleaning schedule to keep my home in a spa like homey feel.  I will extend this to the car, deck and lawn.
      • Art – practice and create everyday.  It is time to put my hands back into the clay, paints, photography and words.
        • This time, sharing on this blog my creations and progress as I go.
        • Listing the creations for sale.
        • Purposefully creating items to go into my portfolio that will build my case that I am an artist worthy of following, collecting and licensing.
      • Education – taking time to really analyze and get a plan in place to finish college.  This time using a realistic, practical approach to ensure it is usable for the future.

    Good:

    • The financially secure work listed above.
    • The independent work listed above.
    • Rounding out life into community
      • Identify my communities and participate in them gratefully as I am able to do so
        • Family
        • Work
        • Friends
        • My neighborhood
        • My town
        • My state
        • Art
        • Hobbies
        • Charity
    • Give myself encouragement, praise and love.
    • Practice my 12 months of thoughtfulness (I will write more on this later)

    Call them resolutions or goals.  I call them direction, purpose, a place to aim for everyday.  Without them, I will just sit on a couch and stare at a wall withering away with depression my companion and foe.  I am walking to these everyday in small actions and choices.  I will live a good, independent and financially secure life.

    If you are making a choice to walk on your own adventure and desire to be encouraged while encouraging others, please share below or send me a message.  The biggest thing I have learned this year is that we do need others.

    Until the next posting, be well and happy new year.

     

     

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